Phish tips for a newbie

Someone asked me for tips on going to their first Phish show. Oh man, did they ever come to the right place. Here's 10 things to get you started:

1. If you haven't ever done hard drugs before, you don't have to start now. Most of the people I know were good with a few beers and maybe smoking. It's usually just a few young posers who go all out with the nitrous and acid and the crazy stuff and then end up messed up and not remembering anything. I went to most shows sober, which may be hard for y'all to believe, but I often had to drive all the way back to Lancaster, and it was fine. Didn't ruin my enjoyment at all.

Now, if you have done hard drugs... well... it's up to you...

2. If anything. I'd recommend bringing lots of bottled water, as you will be dehydrated afterwards, and also to cleanse people. Which brings me to the next point....

3. Some of the people will smell. It is a pungent odor and you may not want to continue. There is nothing you can do about this. Eventually, it will mix in with the patchouli and weed smoke and they'll all cancel each other out.

4. Most of the people like to keep to themselves. Dancing is always individual, unless you have a couple. I always loved this, not having the energy the energy for moshing and jostling with everyone for a full show, but some people can't get with it. I say enjoy the laid back approach. Physical contact with people is not a good idea, for this and other reasons.

5. Some people consider the lighting guy the unknown 5th member of the band. I don't know if that's accurate, but he is good at matching strobes to notes and jamming with them, so be sure to enjoy the visuals as well.

6. There are always two full sets, both lasting over an hour, maybe two, and an encore. During the second set, there will probably be a jam that lasts for a good 20 minutes or so. Pace yourself, it will be a long night, but you'll certainly get your money's worth.

7. There might be some people tossing glowsticks around. I don't know where this came from and it always annoyed the f out of me, so beware. I hope it's been cut down.

8. The drummer can't sing, but they sometimes uses this to comedy effect. If you see him get up and cover something weird, think nothing of it. Happens all the time. There may be a lot of little things that you don't get that everyone else will laugh it... way too many to explain here... so I'd say don't worry about it.

9. In between the first set and the second set, Trey might say something like "We'll be back in 15 minutes," but there is always at least a good hour before they come back. Plenty of free time for whatever. After the second set, they'll come back on the encore pretty quickly though.

10. Finally, if you ever go to a show with esteemed Nighthawks founder Dr. Ryan Carey, for Christ's sake, remember where you parked your car!

I hope that helps. I could write a book about this, but other people have done that. Enjoy!

Sundance-ified: Old Dogs

A while back, The Onion's AV Club presented a way to make any blockbuster movie into a Sundance movie with just a few changes. Since I get to see many previews for the broadest of broad films, I thought this would be a great thing to play with. Every so often, I will be taking popcorn fluff and making it into dark/offbeat indie kernels.

This week: Robin Williams and John Travolta tackle fatherhood in Old Dogs

Watch the actual trailer here.

Real synopsis: Williams and Travolta are successful businessmen, bachelors in their 50's, who discover that Williams has two kids from a one-night-stand. Williams is thrust in a father's role at an advanced age when the mom goes away and he has to take care of the kids. Hilarity ensues.

(and yes, "hilarity ensues" was an actual description used in promos)

My take: What a fucking travesty of a Disney family movie. I hope Walt is twisting in his Ziploc bag containment unit. This is every cliche of the bachelor-becomes-dad genre all put into one giant slapstick-poop-joke apocalypse. This is what you think of when you think of what's wrong with Hollywood. I'm going to have to work extra hard to make it edgy.

I do have some ideas. I don't think it was in this trailer, but there is a joke in another one where someone mistakes them for a gay couple. When tested, many people who viewed the trailer actually got the idea that this was the case (and were upset about it). Good work, Disney! In my version, they're not just gay, but really gay, and hoping to adopt kids. They have been turned down many times, and are getting really dejected. A twist comes when Williams finds out that his sperm was used in a secret plan to get a quirky hooker (Kelly Preston) to settle down. Unfortunately, it only made her more frantic, she gets thirsty for more crack, and after she ODs, the kids are left in his care as the only living relative.

Oh, and one of them is Autistic.

[By the way, in the real movie, the thing that prompts Williams to look after the kids is Preston going to jail.... which sounds cool, but actually, she just gets arrested for tying herself to a tree in an environmental protest. Lame. Also, you find out that they had a 24 hour Vegas-type marriage to Williams on the night the kids were conceived, so technically, they aren't bastards. Disney once again tries to not be offensive to anyone.... but isn't a drunken quickie marriage more disrespectful? Whatever. I digress. Sorry, I just wanted you all to know how much hate I have for this.]

Williams and Travolta take the kids to scout camp, where they are molested by a very angry Matt Dillon and his beaten-down younger brother / pedo-assistant, Justin Long. This causes Travolta to begin drinking and completely unravel. Williams tries to hang on, even though the kids are so damaged. They try to sue the scouts, but the scout organization's energetic young lawyer (Seth Green) comes in and accuses Williams of being an unjust father. He presents evidence from Preston's former pimp (Bernie Mac) that the mom was a better parent, despite being a crackhead hooker.

The trial rages on. Williams and Travolta become the media center of the gay parent debate. Travolta finally goes over the edge and offs himself with sleeping pills and white wine, but Williams won't give up. He works with a former alcoholic lawyer (Rita Wilson) who has been disbarred several times, and together, they defeat the evil Scout industry. Williams gets to keep the kids, but he misses his old lover Travolta, and the price of the win hangs on him. Still, he manges to take the kids on a road trip to see the great outdoors, highlighted by a shot of fast-motion-capture clouds while moody indie rock plays. The end.

Best films of the decade: an introduction

I know I haven't written much in a long time, but as we get closer to the end of the decade, I've been thinking about movie best-of lists. Many various outlets have been putting together lists of the best and the worst movies of the decade. Paul is working on his list and I know we will have a lot of similar ones. I want to do this, to get myself writing about film more, and because it's really one of the few things I can claim to know anything about anymore.

As I've said before, I never really know what exactly a top film list means. Is it made up of the ones I enjoyed the most or is it the ones that I think are the best artistically? Are those two the same thing? I don't think they are; I can admit to loving horrible films and being bored by ones that I know are great. Bill Simmons is having people vote for the most memorable films of the decade, which is a nice way to narrow down things.... but I can remember lots of movies and that can take things in another direction. (I.E. I'll never forget The Wicker Man remake, just for the sheer anger I felt at Nicolas Cage.)

I guess I'd like to do something that has my favorites that I truly believe are great and fit this decade. These are the films I will remember - for being good - and films that influenced me into going to LA and trying to work on/with movies and such.

As I do this, I've been thinking about the state of film and how it has maybe gown downhill a little. Has television surpassed it? I think so. Patton Oswalt recently said that the most memorable movies of today are TV shows, and that television has reversed from movies. He said that some channels are acting like movie studios in the 70's, where they let the rules go and tried to be different, while the big studios (owned by big companies) only want to bank on sure things, so they take on Transformers-like crap or name stars, while the indie movies try to fit some kind of pattern (quirky for no reason, road trip, misfits that get girls, etc.). I've heard this from other people, and from my experiences at work, it seems to be the case. No studio wants to take chances, but there are so many networks, some of them have to experiment to get ahead.

It is interesting, looking over my rough list, that most of my favorites are in the early part of the decade. Were movies really better then? Does it take longer for them to seem important to me? Am I remembering things wrong? It seems skewed. But while I have very few entries in 2005, 2006, and 2008, I have a ton from 2007. I don't know what that means.

I'm hoping to post one everyday for the rest of the year. I probably can't match that exactly, but I will have 50, maybe 100 if I can't cut enough. I invite everyone to get involved, debate, ridicule. This is a major project that I will be working hard on for the next few weeks / months and I hope to inspire... something.

Here's a few notable ones that did not make my list:

Lord of the Rings (any of them) - I know, I know, they were all well made. I just don't care about Tolkien.

Star Wars (either of them) - ....or Lucas.

Paul Haggis' Academy Award Winner Crash - everyone realizes this was a horrible mistake, right?

Freddy Got Fingered - I love it, it's one of my favorite comedies of the decade, it has brought joy to a lot of people, but is it truly a good movie? I still say no. It's lovable in its deranged state, but I can't argue its value to everyone.

Pootie Tang - same as above. It would be even weirder and better if the studio let Louis C.K. alone.

Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story - one of the funniest of the Apatow collection, but not a lot of story.

Super High Me - Doug Benson's doc is funny with some decent stand up parts, and surprisingly insightful on the weird process of legalized marijuana in this state.

The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy - too silly, and too abrupt of an ending, but a nice way to get people interested in Douglas Adams. Sam Rockwell, Zooey Deschanel, and Martin Freeman were still relatively unknown, and this helped out.

Southland Tales - you laugh, but this is one of the movies I'll always remember for this decade. It's weird, the jokes don't land, and the acting is mostly bad, even disastrous in some points, but it captures some of the zeitgeist for the post-9/11 Patriot Act era. If Richard Kelly had made this right after Darko, it wouldn't seem so ridiculous. I mean, it would still be so, but not as much. Maybe if he hadn't set it in the very immediate feature and used some real names and events mixed in with false ones, it would come off better. But he did, and when it finally came out in 2007, it was already dated. This is spastic, but it fits the times. You'll never find a better assortment of pop culture icons for this decade. This is a movie for the oughts if there ever was one.

Leo's spring TV awards

Television is not dead, but more often now, it comes in doses. Very few of the shows I watch are made into full seasons. Of course, a lot of them are on cable and don't have to follow the old fall-to-spring timeline. Of those, only a few have more than 10-15 episodes. TV is going niche, and there just aren't that many people getting 22 or so episodes a year to spell out things. You have to do it in a few months. Thus, it makes sense for this armchair critic to hand out awards for the first half (or second half, if you go by seasons) of the year.

Well, what a half it was! A lot of shows I had been eagerly anticipating came back. Most did not disappoint. I don't know what I'll do in the fall, but then, there's this thing the Americans call football. I suppose I'll just have to get used to it, because it's clear that great shows only come so often.


I will mention a few year-round comedies that have my attention. 30 Rock is finally living up to the critical hype. How I Met Your Mother is goofy and a bit cliched but still enjoyable. The Office became the unlikeliest landing spot for some former Wire stars, but they helped spark some life into it. That's pretty much it. Most everything I like comes in spurts.

Onto the winners...


BEST COMEDIES

1. Delocated - Adult Swim decided to support a few live-action shows that fit their particular (stoner/slacker/college) sense of humor, and it paid off. This mock-reality show about a man in witness relocation (which is a hilariously stupid premise in itself) is great for Jon Glaser's awkward humor, especially with his assigned protector / timid buddy. Eugene Mirman is great as a Russian assassin, and there were some great cameos.

2. Eastbound & Down - Danny McBride's sudden appearance on the comedy scene comes from the cult success of The Foot Fist Way. He & his pals behind that created this show with the same kind of dark humor. Basically, they're taking the approach of a lot of recent Apatow & Will Ferrell movies and then putting it into series form.... which is great. Being on HBO frees them to be dark and vulgar, and they use that. Personal fave Andrew Daly is great as the uptight principal.

3. Important Things with Demetri Martin - I always liked Demetri's stand up, and I was curious to see how he would translate it into a full show. It works because he mixes sketches with some stand up and weird tidbits. He brought in Adult Swim veteran Jon Benjamin to be his go-to guy, which was smart. John Oliver of The Daily Show also added some great moments.

4. The Mighty Boosh - Yes, I know, it doesn't quite count as a regular entry because it was already on TV for several years in Britain. A lot of people have already seen it, and Adult Swim is replaying episodes from a span of several seasons. Still, this is a new revelation to some, and having it on a regular screen (and not having to rely on YouTube clips) makes my day brighter.

5. Flight of the Conchords - Bret and Jemaine's second season was filled with more star appearances, but maybe not as good as the first. They are most likely finished with this show. No matter, though, because their live shows are great and they have a growing fan base now. That's the way to see them.

BEST DRAMAS

1. Lost - Look, either you like it or you don't. I'm not trying to convince anyone. I just love it. I wish that it was on all year... they could have used more episodes to flesh out the mile-a-minute story and better add to the new characters. It's still my number one addiction.

2. Damages - This is a show that people need to watch. It's replaced The Shield as FX's showcase, intense drama. Last season was a dive into paranoia and the powerful, unseen forces that drive society. This season, it focused more on a great story, while still building on the existing troubles. A lot of great actors joined the cast. Watch it.

3. Big Love - HBO's polygamist drama has gone in some weird places, but it's worth it. It took a while to find a proper tone, but it mixes family drama with cultish conspiracy.

4. Dollhouse - Joss Whedon is gold. His new project takes sci-fi but adds a deep emotional core. He plays with the idea of self and identity as people become objects. It picked up steam as the season went along and thankfully got a renewal.

5. Fringe - OK, this was actually on all year. It took a long break, however, and the spring session was much better than the fall. It separated itself from an X Files ripoff to become a fascinating sci-fi epic.

MOST DISAPPOINTING

1. Life on Mars - This was the ultimate borderline show for me. I was on the fence about keeping up with it all year. It had some really cheesy moments, but the cast was impressive and they had cool music. Once I learned it was going to wrap everything up in one season, I decided to stick it out. Big mistake. It ended with one of the most confusing and infuriating finales ever. It wasn't a thoughtful ambiguous ending, it was an ending that had no place and completely undermined the emotional pull that the whole series was trying to build. ABC, you wasted many hours of my life and I want them back. You're lucky you have Lost.

2. Heroes - Do I even need to say anything? I do have some questions. Hey, remember how Sylar was tricked into believing he was one of the Petrellis last year? Did that have any importance at all? Why won't they just get rid of Ali Larter? Am I a bad person for really hating Masi Oka now?

3. Scrubs - I still kinda like this show, but its supposed end has been dragged out and apparently still isn't happening yet. They could have ended on NBC, but signed on for another half-year at ABC, then tried to end it, but now are coming back. This show is okay, but it's not good enough to keep on this long.

4. Parks & Recreation - It's too early to tell, but a show with this many good people in it should be funnier. I'm hoping it gets better.

5. Sit Down, Shut Up - Perhaps the most bizarre of shows to get a run. It didn't look great on its own in previews, and it isn't. But the talent level behind this is amazing - Mitch Hurwitz assembled writers from AD and even prime-era Simpsons, then coaxed a strong name cast to do voices. Still, it sucked. Why was THIS his big return to TV? Did he do this just to stick it to FOX? I'm perplexed.

That does it for the spring session. There are a few summer shows coming up that will hopefully bridge me to another season. Of course, I don't have The Wire to get me through those lonely summer days this year. Oh well.

Sundance-ified: Hannah Montana (the movie)

Recently, The Onion's AV Club presented a way to make any blockbuster movie into a Sundance movie with just a few changes. Since I get to see many previews for the broadest of broad films, I thought this would be a great thing to play with. Every so often, I will be taking popcorn fluff and making it into dark/offbeat indie kernels.

Watch the Actual Trailer

Actual Premise: I guess Billy Ray thinks his daughter needs to go back to the farm and find her roots, since she's so spoiled. I suppose there's nothing in this about shutting down Disneyland for half a day to celebrate her 16th birthday before it even happens, but, hey, she fights Tyra! For shoes! She learns her lesson, solves her secret identity, and meets a gay cowboy.... err, cute guy in the process.

My thoughts to make it a festival hit: Ironically, this movie is very reflexive, one of my favorite tools of late for adding layers to films. Her dad is played by her real dad, she's a teen pop star as like real life, and her name is Miley Stewart. Art imitating life... or more likely, they have no acting range. This might be the dumbest movie ever to be so reflexive. Damn you, Disney! That trick should be reserved for things like THIS!

[Even more ironically, as much as I like to tease the Cyruses about their wholesome family act, her dad already owns me in the artistic cred department with his cameo in Mulholland Drive. Maybe it's just a testament to how crazy David Lynch is, but he was in there.]

Fortunately, I can get around that because of a great story point that Joel McHale has been using as a running joke for a while: she's got multiple personalities. IT'S A SERIOUS MEDICAL CONDITION! Miley Stewart, simple Tennessee farm girl, merely thinks that she is secretly a Hollywood star but is just delusional. And poor.

You know, she and her dad seem awfully close in this... maybe a little too close? Ruh-roh! I smell an inappropriate relationship! That'll give it indie cred. So as daddy tries to get his daughter and to realize that her true life is working on the farm and secretly pleasuring him at night, she struggles to cope with what is real and what's in her mind. Those dance sequences become a little more tragic when she realizes the ugly truth, Dancer in the Dark-style. She cries herself to sleep and works for hours on the farm with her dad watching her sweat, then imagines the fanciful beach parties where she is the star.

But the more her dad tries to get her to realize what is true, the more detached she becomes from reality. She can't cope with her two lives and dives further into madness. This is where the love interest comes in. She meets this boy riding horses and believes him to be some kind of white knight, but he's gay. Really gay. He's so gay, he's even gayer than John Wayne. He woos her because he's actually interested in breaking in her younger brother. But she refuses to believe that. Meanwhile, her brother lies about getting into college and sneaks away to make sweet, sweet love with the cow wrassler.

Oh, and her best friend gets an abortion. Almost forgot that.

In the end, Miley will have a breakdown when she discovers that her big concert at the Hollywood Bowl is just the local hootenanny. She runs away crying and goes up to the roof of the chicken coop to kill herself, but falls through and gets paralyzed. She ends up stuck in a chair in a special room her dad has built, forced to forever be his secret slave, just like Sarah Polley in "The Sweet Hereafter." Festival gold.

Next time on Sundance-ified: Ice Cube's Janky Promoters

I watched two movies last night....

.. Oliver Stone's W and The Foot Fist Way.

One is a bizarre, ridiculous comedy with over-the-top characters and a story that focuses on an idiot redneck who thinks he's awesome.

The other is Danny McBride's breakthrough film.

I'll be here all week.

The year in review, 2008

Yes, I know, I haven't written much lately. This is a good thing. I used to blog in free time, and I have been working more. I am crossing my fingers this will keep up. I didn't even make the trek East for Christmas because N and I used up lots of vacation time at our party (thanks for all who attended!) and expected to work through the end of the year. Well, I have some time this week, although much of it is Rose Bowl preparation.... I couldn't resist. I guess I should look back on this year.

I think I will remember this as the year I somewhat restored my faith in television. I used to hate TV except for a few sitcoms and sketch shows, but over the past few years, I discovered some old and new shows that used the format well. I think some people figured out at the beginning of this decade, with all the different channels, that niche audiences were a new key and that there was space (mostly on cable) for shows that utilized a season format. They could tell stories over a longer period of time and really develop characters rather than the typical new-adventure-every-week! standard. HBO really jumped on this, and they've been very successful in making TV artsy in the way my beloved indie films do. Meanwhile, my favorite variety shows rode the political excitement wave to good reviews.

Even though the writers' strike probably killed some shows, including a few I liked, it also gave me some time to review some series on DVD. I continued that during the summer. I found a lot of great things, most notably The Wire. I can't get over how good this show is, or was, and I don't even usually like cop shows. It has stuck in my mind more than almost any movie I've seen in the past few years. Even though I missed the first season of each, I decided to jump into Damages and Mad Men while they are still alive, and I'm glad I did. I started paying more attention to 30 Rock and How I Met Your Mother, which are better than I thought. I also started on some new shows. Fringe is cool, though I can't help thinking it's the X Files with a few tweaks. Not that that's bad. True Blood is weird, but I think it's worth watching.

It's not as good, though, as Buffy the Vampire Slayer. I had always snickered at that show, but my wife kept telling me there was an odd mix of camp, humor, and some genuine emotion, along with a creative take on monsters (it's not just vampires, thankfully). It's been a solid addition to my lineup of DVD rentals. I also revisited the first season of The O.C., which was also a pleasant surprise. Too bad they used up three seasons' worth of stories in it. Then, right before I started working again, I re watched all of Lost, which I hadn't fully devoted myself to until last year. Seeing it as a whole really made me realize what was going on. I encourage Lost and The Wire to be watched in bunches.

So now I have a new appreciation in TV, and I didn't really have the same zest for seeing movies. Part of this is because I saw so many last year, even in theaters, and didn't have as much to catch up on before the Oscars like I usually do. This year, I waited. I only went out for big summer blockbusters, and to my surprise, they were good. I usually don't care about the bigs and get pumped for late year indies, but Iron Man, Dark Knight, Hellboy, and Tropic Thunder all lived up to hype. (Indiana Jones did not, but I wasn't really all that excited for it anyway and waited for rental). Step Brothers, Forgetting Sarah Marshall, Get Smart, and Pineapple Express were solid comedies. And that's pretty much all I've seen on the big screen. I haven't been in a theater since August. I am kind of ashamed, and yet, I just haven't felt like it. Meanwhile, the indie/loved autuer flicks I was really looking forward to (Be Kind Rewind, Choke, Synedoche New York) came and went quickly without any fanfare.

Eventually, I will see the contenders, but I can't even begin to give a top list of movies this year. I need to see much more. Two recent viewings I did like: The Visitor and Burn After Reading. The Visitor is a great character piece. Burn After Reading was funny and proved the Coens are getting back in gear - not as good as Lebowski or Fargo, but better than the last two attempts at humor. Brad Pitt nailed the stupid comedy in this.

While I cannot give a list of best movies, or music, since I haven't heard any albums lately and someone (ahem) never gave me a collection of things I asked for before the party (it's not too late!), I can continue my annual additions to my personal hall of heroes. This has expanded greatly in the past few years, and there are a lot of great people to add. These are the entertainers - athletes, artists, actors, and all - who have made my year.

First, I would like to give congrats to people who made the list already and have cemented their status. Ricky Gervais and Joel McHale were already awesome, but seeing them live was even better. I nominated J.J. Abrams last year for all his work, and he continues to do good things. Seth Rogen and Judd Apatow kept it up. Christian Bale didn't disappoint. Darren Aronofsky should reach a new level with the success of The Wrestler. I already loved David Fincher, and I hope they recognize him now in awards season, as they finally did with PTA last year.

Oh, and did I mention Phish is coming back?

Here are my inductees for this year:

Robert Downey Jr. - too obvious. Now I'm going back and seeing how good he was before (and maybe during) troubled times. He could tackle pretty much anything.

Heath Ledger - alas, just as I (and many) realized how great he was, he left.

Paul Newman - another in memoriam. I didn't have him listed before. Shame on me. Every book on film I have says that Paul Newman was one big star who was always gracious off camera. No one, NO ONE in film didn't love him.

Andrew Daly - I already wrote a post about how much I loved him. I haven't seen him in a while, though I hear he's in charge of rebooting The Match Game.

Jason Segal - he'll always be welcomed as part of the Freaks and Geeks crew, but he proved he could write and hold a lead role in a movie. Plus, he's an underrated part of How I met Your Mother.

James Franco - same deal as his boys Segal and Rogen.

Adam Carolla - I always thought he was good in bits, especially his duels with Bill Simmons, but I didn't realize how funny he was until I started listening to his radio show. It's a nice way to start the day off and a great showcase for him. Then, despite little experience, he wrote and starred in a decent movie, The Hammer.

Sarah Silverman - I don't think I had her on here before. Slowly, she's been building up to slacker comedy domination.

Tina Fey - along with Silverman, is making the case for more female comedians. I was meh on 30 Rock at first, thinking it was trying too hard to be Arrested Development, but it has gotten a lot better. She's able to be as self-deprecating and nerdy as the boys while still being attractive, I have to say. She also showed she could hold a movie. And how did I not know until now that she was from Philly??? WTF!

Andy Samberg, Bill Hader, & Kristen Wiig - they've brought SNL back into prominence, along with lifetime member Amy Poehler (who carried that show at times, but she's gone). It's not perfect, or still near where it was, but they at least have the potential to create some laughs.

The Mighty Boosh and Snuff Box - I don't know who first started pushing these British sketch geniuses, but they've really taken over our year. All these guys combine a wicked sense of humor and no fears about being strange to create some of the most interesting comedy of this decade. They need to be more available in the States, but that should be coming.

Jon Hamm & everyone involved in Mad Men - really great show, and Hamm came out of nowhere to OWN. Plus, he's married to indie fave Jennifer Westfeldt and is friends with Paul Rudd and Jimmy Kimmel. He's got a good life ahead.

Damon Linedlof, Carlton Cuse & everyone involved in Lost - stop taking the fall off! ABC just cancelled everything! I need you in my veins right now!

David Simon & everyone involved in The Wire - the easiest choice of the year.

Tom McCarthy - as an actor, part of The Wire brilliance. As a filmmaker, has made two great indies and is one of my favorite people to watch for from now on.

Joss Whedon - I always saw the legions of rawkus Whedon fans and the cult hits and I wondered why people loved him so much. Now I know.

Christopher Nolan - I guess I never put him on here because I forget about filmmakers once they get huge deals. I sometimes forget that Memento was one of the important mindfarks I watched in school, and his very first film was full of suspense and shot on NOTHING. Other guys have risen up from indie ranks and lost their soul. I have to remind myself to recognize him.

Guillermo Del Toro - here's another guy I didn't appreciate at first when I saw him doing big horror and action flicks. I went back and saw his early stuff and he's fantastic.

Alton Brown - the first chef I ever added to my list, he's a strange mix of Mr. Wizard, Bill Nye, and someone's goofy dad... and I always get hooked watching him late at night. Cooking shows have really come in handy this year, and I broke my no-reality rule to watch Top Chef and a host of other competitions in food. I say he's the best personality, and always informative.

Lastly, I should declare a winner for 2008:

The 2008 Philadelphia Phillies

Yes, I have to. I listed all the great Philly athletes who never won anything, so I ought to include the ones who did. It was beautiful. It was joyous. It was much needed. During this drunken rollercoaster of an Eagles season, I have been ready to throw things and declare that we can never win anything... and then I stop and remember, like I was born an amputee and just got a prosthetic leg and are just coming to terms that I can finally walk, that we did win something. I remember Bill Simmons talking about how, after the Red Sox finally won, he would get upset and frustrated like he always had, and then suddenly have this moment of clarity after a few seconds of frustration, that it's over. It's not true anymore.

We are a tortured bunch.

Happy New Year, and I'm looking forward to 2009!